New year, new resolution. So far so good. But its more than that;Â I feel a sense of excitement about what this year is going to bring. Itâ€™s been more than six months now since weâ€™ve all been moved back to the UK in our lovely little cottage in Ovington; lock, stock and barrel. Weâ€™ve rather come back in dribs and drabs because it was 2016 that Billy, Daisy, Dave and I came back, but now weâ€™re all back, the whole family – Peter and TC, our Turkish stray cat are also here – and so there really is a sense of new beginnings.
So on a personal level, I really want to restart my blog, which Iâ€™m ashamed to say I havenâ€™t written now for more than a year since Thomas died – but it was kind of difficult to get back on to it again. For me, writing is about the heart and soul, so I needed to process those emotions around losing Thomas, before being able to start again on a new tack.
I still miss him and think about him every day, and often â€˜seeâ€™ him when Iâ€™m out and about – walking by the river, or someone driving a little white van, or shopping in Waitrose, which he loved! But I really found that our little trip down to his river on the first anniversary of his death, helped me enormously. I dont think â€˜closureâ€™ should ever be under-rated, as I have always found some sort of acknowledgement of the end of something in which you have made a significant emotional investment – whether painful or happy – to be hugely beneficial.
Our ceremony was as simple as a walk next to the river, surrounded by my loving family, meandering past Thomasâ€™ hut which was his hub when he was the river keeper on his stretch of the Itchen. We visited the tree that was planted to remember him, and it was a way to feel close to a very special and dear man.
And now to 2018….